I feel so lucky to meet a man like him..who shows his cares,respects,love..to me. I feel like it is a miracle to meet a guy who understands my feeling though i never express or let him know my feeling...i don't know how he understands..i never want to open my heart since i used to have a heartbroken..m so afraid to open my heart again...before i met this guy, i always concentrate on my study and try to achieve my dream job..i always believe that true love will come to me one day....i always try to be strong and ignore all the guy's love...but for this special guy,i couldn't just force myself anymore..i couldn't concentrate on my study anymore,i don't know what's going on in my heart...why he understands everything about me? he knows when m sad,tired or even hungry...most of the people don't understand me like him cos i always try to smile no matter i feel sad or anything....i always try to hide my feeling and makes other think m strong...but i can't hide my feeling with this guy....on the first time i met this guy,he memtioned that i have a beautiful smile and told me to try to smile...i was so shocked at that time cos he made me feel so special...though i tried to controll my secret feeling and just ignored his words cos i think it's normal for guy to flirt....the other day, while i walked out,he walked before me and opened the door for me with a smile which made me feel like a princess(i don't understand why i felt like this)but that's not what i admired him...the thing is there was a little girl stand near that door and the way he opened the door in order not to hurt this little girl made me so surprised..he is so gentle and i couldn't believe how thoughtful this guy is(the first time i met this guy,i just thought that he is just flirturous guy)....though, i still tried to force myself to think that it was just a guy's way to attract a girl.....there were more things that this guy has done for me but i just try to ignore and believe in my past experience...in one occassion(i don't want to specify the occassion),this guy gave me a warm hug and a kiss on my cheek, i didn't know why i let this guy kissed me because i always try to avoid any kind of love relation but i felt so warm when he huged me....he always flirt with me even i never flirt him back...from my experience, a guy will not flirt with me more than a week since i never flirt back a word..but this guy is so resistant with my character....he always make me smile which i couldn't stop myselt....this guy carried things for me and also taught me the thing i don't know but i never show any thanks to him til now(in fact my heart is so thankful for everything he has done for me)...the reason i did this is because i still couldn't force myself to trust any guy...i used to have a bad experience and it still stay in my head and heart....i also want to know how long this guy gonna be good to me but he still keeps doing good things to me and cares about me no matter how i ignore him...he never says he loves me but the way he huged me,kissed me and cares about me makes me feel so special......my friend(she is like a sister to this guy) told me he used to have a girlfriend but they broke up( i don't ask her why ?because i don't want to act like i want to know about him so much)..but it seems like he is also hurtful...eventhough, i don't show any cares to him but i know his feeling when he is sad or lonely but i just can't force myself to.............now i heard my friend said that he just has a girlfriend (she told me not to tell any one cos this guy doesn't want any1 to know)and i don't know how i feel.......a part of my heart said i should appreciate that he has found his love and another part said i need him so much.......i don't understand why he doesn't want anyone to know that he has a girlfriend now....why does he still keep doing good things to me,and cares about me while he already has a girlfriend? now it seems like i lost my strength,i feel like myself has changed...why do i keep thinking about him all the time? i still try to keep myself busy with my study but still couldn't concentrate...i ask myself where is my strength?where is my confidence?where is my dream job? i have to do what i promise myself...but my heart is still asking for true love....where is my true love? i know m still young and all i have to do now is try to study but just can't concentrate anymore........anyway, thank you so much,guy, for always caring about me till now....i know u never hear me say this word to you cos my heart just couldn't open for anyone....i really wish you could try to find the key to open it but maybe it was so hard for you to understand this mysterious girl.....all the words i want to let you know just don't come out.....i really wish there is someone out there could understand what my heart say but......now m sitting here alone thinking of those memorable things you've done for me, i will never forget and thank you again even you couldn't hear it but i hope there is a miracle...i know i have to move on with my life,,,,,i know i have to be strong,,,,,tomorrow i have to go to school and have to concentrate on my study but look what m doing right now?it's 2:30am and coudn't manage to sleep...still keep thinking of you.....still keep writing......do i need to have love?? do i need you??? m i too stuborn?????? why m i born with this stubborn character?why m i born with this strange and stupid feeling???? can i never trust any guy????????? please tell me what i should decide to do??????? how m gonna move on with my life???????? why are you always in my mind?????????? why i couldn't win myself anymore????????

I LOVE THIS PERSON WHO WRITE THE STORY COZ MY FEELING IS SOMETHING LIKE THIS SOME TIME AGO WITH THIS GUY...KEEP TELLING MYSELF TO MOVE ON BUT HE KEEP COMING IN MY MIND..AND I DONNO HOW LONG THIS FEELING FOR HIM WILL LAST COZ IM TOO TIRED TO FEEL THIS WAY...I JUS WAN TO MOVE ON AND FIND A GUY THAT APPRECIATE ME...